Of course New Jersey takes the brainless, muscle-bound meathead.

Trial by combat seems like a very weird way to operate a criminal justice system, which is probably why King Tommen outlawed the practice on Game Of Thrones earlier this season. (Although we suspect that the people of Westeros might be similarly baffled by how our system worked if they watched the O.J. Simpson 30 For 30 documentary, so it’s probably just a matter of perspective.) The ability to pick the biggest, meanest bastard in all of the land and pay him to kick the hell out of the other side’s big, mean bastard in order to prove your innocence isn’t really intuitive, at any rate.

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